How do I find a tutor who fits my son?
Gemara, kriah, math or test prep: how to decide what kind of help he needs, where to look, and how to tell in three sessions whether it's working.
Most parents look for a tutor after a bad report card or a worried call from a rebbe. The instinct is to find someone fast. The better move is to spend one evening naming the problem, then find the right person for that problem.
What kind of help does he need?
- Skills. He can't read the Gemara accurately, or decode kriah, or the math foundation isn't there. This is the most common and the most fixable.
- Confidence. He has the skills but freezes, especially in front of the rebbe or the class. He needs practice in a low-stakes setting with someone patient.
- Attention. He can do the work but can't sustain it. A tutor can help with structure; an evaluation may help more.
- A gap. He missed a zman, changed schools, or had a hard year. He needs someone to walk him through what everyone else already did.
Say which one it is in the first phone call. A good tutor will tell you honestly whether that is their strength.
Where to look
- The rebbe or teacher, first. They often know an older bochur, a kollel yungerman, or a professional who has worked with boys like him.
- The school's resource room or learning center, if it has one.
- Listings on this site under Tutoring, where tutors describe their own approach and who they work with.
- Other parents, carefully. A tutor who worked wonders for a different kind of boy may not fit yours.
What to ask a tutor
- Who do you usually work with, and what do you do best?
- How do you start with a new boy?
- How will you communicate with me and with the rebbe?
- What does a session look like?
- What will I see after a month if it's working?
Set it up to succeed
Ask the rebbe to speak with the tutor once, directly, so they are working on the same things. Agree on a schedule your son can keep. Keep sessions short enough that he leaves wanting one more problem, not one less.
Three sessions
After three sessions you will know. Does he dread it or tolerate it? Does the tutor talk about him specifically or in generalities? If it isn't working, change tutors without drama. The fit was wrong; the boy is fine.
Written by the ChinuchPlace team
Educators and administrators who work in yeshivos and mesivtas, writing what we tell friends who ask. Nothing here is sponsored, and no school is named.
Questions parents ask
- How often should a tutor meet with my son?
- Twice a week for skills work, once a week for maintenance. More than three times a week usually means the problem is bigger than tutoring.
- In person or remote?
- Remote works for Gemara skills and test prep with older boys. Kriah and younger children do better in person.
- How do I know it's working?
- He stops dreading the session, the rebbe notices a change within a month, and he can do on his own what he could only do with the tutor.
Ready to look?
Every program on the shelf, with the facts families ask about first.